I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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