I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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