can we get nightvision for the apartment?
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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