Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize