I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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