O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
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last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
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we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
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