Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
