THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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