I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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