omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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