hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize