i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
