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i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize