rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
