You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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