I'm lost and stupid without you.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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