I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
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