if only i could text you this smell
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Randomize