One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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