honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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