She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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