i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
You're my little dorito
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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