is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
