Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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