I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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