She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
