Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
