i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I AM VODKA MAN
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
