Four minutes until I can fart!
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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