You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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