I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
