I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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