the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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