Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
