the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
