So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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