he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
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