What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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