I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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