You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
she looked like the before picture.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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