I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I can't turn off my feet"
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
