Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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