Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
