stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
