She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Randomize
