she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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