she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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