Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
