Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
