its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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