She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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