Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
