Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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