my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I have tasted many bathrooms
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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