I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
