I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
