Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
you never un-have a 4some
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
