Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
this boner is exhausting
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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