I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Holy sore nipples Batman
I FOUND THE LEGS
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
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