I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
