i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
