Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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