my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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