First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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